I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
