Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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