First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
