she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
