just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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