if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
