we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
