so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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