Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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