Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
