I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
So. Much. Porn.
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