As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize
