My boss' voice literally gives me gas
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
