if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
