She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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