in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
