last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
