check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Four minutes until I can fart!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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