I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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