i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
