Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize