Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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