I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
