angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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