check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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