I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
wow bdsm is so cute
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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