zippers are such a cool invention
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
