Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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