those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
