So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
