I'm gonna have a badass scar
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
