I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
