I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
