Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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