I want to stick my p in your. b.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
