Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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