Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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