one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
