As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
