Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
