how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
