Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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