We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
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