kristin has been a bad kristin
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i will never coherently bang her
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
