she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
