is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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