She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She said her name was "party"
im six kinds of drunk right now
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
