we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
