He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
