shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
