You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
last night I used snow as a chaser
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
