Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
