I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
