I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
