He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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