Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
