Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
