I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
