do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize