I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
foreskin is a definite game changer
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
i believe in u and ur pee
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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