Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Please don't give away my fajitas
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
