we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
