and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
