Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
oh god was she eating orange peels again
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
