Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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