Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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