he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
