How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize