This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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