Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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