Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
