i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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